Wow, today was amazing. There is just so much and so many butterflies of ideas, stories of insight that it is all just rolling around in my head like a bunch of gibberish. That said, is seems a shame not to provide some kind of post so here I am in rambling incoherent glory.
This morning started with the drive in and I started to play with St. Etienne’s Alpha Fox Beta album with the 8BC system and see if I could find the beat, find the one count and recognize the different elements of the song. I then played with listening to the different instruments coming in and out of silence. Kindergarten stuff as Carlos would say but it really opened up for me, a whole new element to music and it was enjoyable on a whole new level.
Then as I parked my car and walked down to the street, I decided to become more aware of how I walk, choosing to play with the Alexander Technique a bit more. Yesterday I have discovered that I have a tendency to look down a bit instead of out, though I have to also acknowledge that I do not do this near as much as I used to after discovering Nia. So I discovered what would happen if I trust my feet to go down the stairs without looking down, (a little unnerving, I have to confess) and then walked out across the street to the Nia Studio. Energetically I felt strong and confident and it was very interesting to notice how many people on the street walk with their heads down and the energy that brings.
On the drive home, having tried the stairs going down again without looking at my feet, it was still a little unnerving and at time I felt unsure as I had to trust that my feet know what they were doing and I had just been working with them all day so we are the best of friends now and everything, right. I mean, I even rubbed and thanked them for all the hard work today and everything. On the drive home, I think about the stairs at home and I take them all the time with out thinking, with out looking. Is this because I am familiar with them, going up and down many times a day? And then it hits me what the main difference was. Outside, I have shoes on; at home I am barefoot most of the time. Bingo! You mean there really is something to all of this feet sending the rest of the body information through its thousand of nerves? I love it!
Speaking of feet, I spent the afternoon learning how to walk. Wow, that was incredible just how far removed I was from using my feet the body’s way. I thought I was closer then I was with all the practice of the steps and stances that we did but Debbie really had us exploring how to walk, how the different bones in our feet and legs are designed to work, I discovered where was weak and then boom! Ah that is the weak muscle on the inside of my left foot that is leading to my knee to complain. Now I know where to direct some self-healing.
Which leads me back to the beginning of the day where Carlos shared with us the fifth principle, Awareness. There was just so much that was shared about self-healing, pleasure and pain as sensations, it was just incredible and I couldn’t even begin to recapture it. I will share the thought that occurred to me. I have heard the phrase, ‘I need to be in my body more’, quite a bit or ‘I thought I was in my body more then I thought I was’. My take away thought after this morning that it was not so much that I need to be in my body more because, hey, you know, my body has pretty much been here all along, it has just been waiting for me to notice, to pay attention. So I would say that I have discovered that there is a near overwhelming amount of information and sensation that my body gives me that I need to open up the neural pathways (or reprogram if you will) through the practice of awareness before I can even begin to access a fraction of that without short circuiting. Luckily the universe and my body will take care to go slowly so that does not happen. Still it is yet another avenue introduced in the principles to explore.
One final thought is that for some reason the energy of the day and the class felt really good, really focused and much lighter then the previous days. There was a lot of laughing, especially in the morning as we explored emotions. I though of you male Fred with great affection and sympathy!
Okay, I lied to you, one more thing that I just need to share. When we moved with FreeDance today, Carlos had us work more with moving with the creative energy through the body and the art of choosing to move to the music or not but still listening to the music. Yesterday when I tried to feel that creative energy he had described I did my best but can you say “Epic Fail!” Okay it wasn’t that bad and I certainly learned what it was not even if I was moving creatively and there was definite growth as I discovered that I could hear the music, be detached on a certain level to be able to choose to move the way I created. I didn’t have to get lost in the music. As we explored this further today, I got it. I felt that energy that he was talking about but could not describe and I knew it. It was incredible! It only lasted a few bars but now I know exactly how it feels and I was not lost in anything. I could still hear the music, I could choose to follow it or not but it was just so full and amazing. I know this does not even come close to describing the feelings or if it even makes sense but yeah. That is kind of all there is to say. YES!
Debbie taught the Nia class this evening (Opal for those wondering) and I highly recommend that if you ever get the chance to take a class from Carlos or Debbie or preferably both. Do it. Very different and wonderful and a lot noisier then our classes are. There was a lot more growling and cheering and having a class of 50 plus people yelling yes and no at the same time almost makes up for the lack of space in its power. Almost. It was also interesting that as exhausted as I was, and I could not move out of level one for most of the class, how much energy was given back. It was also interesting to note the different energies in the different parts of the room. For me, the space near the window felt more open and as a result I felt more open. Near the middle and towards the front was some crazy powerful energy and it was near impossible to stay level one, and it felt really good. By the door, I felt more constrained and my energy dropped as my attention seemed to focus on how tired I was instead of the pleasure. Needless to say, as soon as I could, I made my way back to the windows and I felt recharged enough to enjoy the rest of the class. I do have to point out that the last song, my movements were pretty darn pathetic!
Well this turned out longer then I had anticipated and hopefully it makes some strange kind of sense, or at least bit of amusement at my thoughts. This is all pretty incredible and I am off to ground and get some rest for the core of the body tomorrow.
Monday, March 30, 2009
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Nia Day Two
Okay, feel free to laugh at me but this morning as I was driving into Portland and then rolling around on the floor to warm up, I was really feeling homesick for my Sunday Nia community. “Man,” I thought to myself, “I bet Laurie is teaching them ‘Passion’ right now without me while I am stuck here in Portland about to learn the Joy of Movement from Carlos. Hey wait a minute!” Yeah, that statement pretty much takes away the pity party right there doesn’t it. Still, it really is telling to me just how much each of us brings to the class and how much of my journey has been filled with this wonderful committed energy. Includeing energy that the forty plus of us created the space this morning as Carlos guided us to remove distractions through stillness.
I have to confess that I did not realize when Laurie was talking about the joy of movement, how much I was intertwining the emotion of joy instead of the sensation of joy from with in the body. This was my little ‘A-ha!’ moment if you will. Now I feel better armed to recognize when it happens and when I lose it. When I was sick two weeks ago and pulled it back to level one, I had found the joy of movement in my body more so then classes when I was well because I was forced to listen and be present in my body but it makes sense now. It really came home when he had us move with the sensation of joy and then had us invite emotion to visit our movements. The difference in the quality was amazing to sense and pretty incredible. Fun too.
Speaking of checking in with my body and energy levels, it has been interesting to assess where I am at during breaks and during lunch. First break I had been monitoring my energy levels pretty well, at least up until we had the Nia class before lunch. It was a blast but darn irresistible to throw yourself into the music and movement with abandon. I must confess to squeeing on the inside when the song ‘Kissing’ came on. Fred that one was for you! Yet we still have seven to go. Yikes. Next up is natural time and the movement forms, Music and the 8bc system. Thank you so much to Laurie for teaching us RAW. I cannot tell you how many times I have used that today!
Before lunch break ends I just want to share what was an incredible sense of community. Carlos had the class experience the joy of movement while doing a Nia move to one of the Sanjana songs (The ‘oh I’m in heaven baby, whoa whoa whoah!). As we did the move through the song with an 8 count there was a moment when the music was about to change and the entire group waited just a single count longer to hit the count on the emphasis beat all by instinct. It felt amazing.
So now I am finally home, with out losing my way this time but there is just so much information. Debbie spoke to us about natural time and the movement forms the Carlos followed up with the music and the 8bc system and we ended with the first two elements of FreeDance. Of course I had a ton of oh that is what is going on moments from shifting from one movement form to the other, to the healing forms actually restoring my energy levels when I was absolutely depleted by that point to exploring the idea of moving creatively in a freedance while listening to the music in why that maintains the focus of both without conflict. I am not sure I am making sense right now and perhaps it would be better to sleep on it and explore it more tomorrow. I do want to point out that while I always knew Laurie and Fred were amazing teachers, my respect for what they do and what they put into their practice to create a Nia class for us has gone up 1000 fold. Wow. Thank you guys. Off to get some sleep as we are scheduled to do the base, more music stuff and I believe the levels of intensity.
I have to confess that I did not realize when Laurie was talking about the joy of movement, how much I was intertwining the emotion of joy instead of the sensation of joy from with in the body. This was my little ‘A-ha!’ moment if you will. Now I feel better armed to recognize when it happens and when I lose it. When I was sick two weeks ago and pulled it back to level one, I had found the joy of movement in my body more so then classes when I was well because I was forced to listen and be present in my body but it makes sense now. It really came home when he had us move with the sensation of joy and then had us invite emotion to visit our movements. The difference in the quality was amazing to sense and pretty incredible. Fun too.
Speaking of checking in with my body and energy levels, it has been interesting to assess where I am at during breaks and during lunch. First break I had been monitoring my energy levels pretty well, at least up until we had the Nia class before lunch. It was a blast but darn irresistible to throw yourself into the music and movement with abandon. I must confess to squeeing on the inside when the song ‘Kissing’ came on. Fred that one was for you! Yet we still have seven to go. Yikes. Next up is natural time and the movement forms, Music and the 8bc system. Thank you so much to Laurie for teaching us RAW. I cannot tell you how many times I have used that today!
Before lunch break ends I just want to share what was an incredible sense of community. Carlos had the class experience the joy of movement while doing a Nia move to one of the Sanjana songs (The ‘oh I’m in heaven baby, whoa whoa whoah!). As we did the move through the song with an 8 count there was a moment when the music was about to change and the entire group waited just a single count longer to hit the count on the emphasis beat all by instinct. It felt amazing.
So now I am finally home, with out losing my way this time but there is just so much information. Debbie spoke to us about natural time and the movement forms the Carlos followed up with the music and the 8bc system and we ended with the first two elements of FreeDance. Of course I had a ton of oh that is what is going on moments from shifting from one movement form to the other, to the healing forms actually restoring my energy levels when I was absolutely depleted by that point to exploring the idea of moving creatively in a freedance while listening to the music in why that maintains the focus of both without conflict. I am not sure I am making sense right now and perhaps it would be better to sleep on it and explore it more tomorrow. I do want to point out that while I always knew Laurie and Fred were amazing teachers, my respect for what they do and what they put into their practice to create a Nia class for us has gone up 1000 fold. Wow. Thank you guys. Off to get some sleep as we are scheduled to do the base, more music stuff and I believe the levels of intensity.
Saturday, March 28, 2009
It has begun!
Tonight was the start of Nia White Belt intensive training and even at four hours my brain is full, my inner imp is excited and a small part of me is wondering what it is I have gotten myself into!
I have always struggled with my self-image. Confidence. It seems like such a simple thing, just believe in yourself and it all falls into place, right? As I have gotten older, the self critic’s grip on my has gotten less but it’s voice is still a powerful motivator and antagonist in my personal battle to self acceptance. Any name that anyone could have possibly called me could have never been worse then the names and thoughts that I have harmed myself with through the years. So it should come as no surprise to me that I am about to undertake an exciting journey of self-discovery through Nia this next week that my critic emerges as furiously as it ever does. “I am not ready, I am not thin enough, good enough, fit enough. I will not look right, eat right, or move right. What if I fail?” And so on. It can quickly become quite tiresome and draining. Am I the only one with a critic this obnoxious? I mean really! The most amusing part of the critic’s tirade is that I would never have fallen in love with Nia and by extension my growing image of my self as beautiful if it was all of those things that my critic is trying to warn me against. I am ready now. So for the next month my critic gets to take a very long nap (April is scrip frenzy which I am also foolishly going to attempt.) and when I decide to take it out again, we are going to have a long series of renegotiations over its duties.
So what does this have to do with my first night of training? Well not much but it was amusing to me. I seem to be full of crazy ideas lately because I have taken it into my head to blog each night about the day, a sort of mental and emotional brain dump. I expect these posts to be come nonsensical pretty darn quick eventually becoming: Oooh pretty music, body tire, wooden floors and lots of people or even Huh, mmmmmph egag!
Or not.
We have a full class. 39 students. Holy Moly. Much of what was tonight was our agreement to the four principles or energy allies. They consist of speaking with impeccability, don’t assume anything, don’t take anything personally and always do your best. And be on time.
Bedtime is calling as we have an early start.
I have always struggled with my self-image. Confidence. It seems like such a simple thing, just believe in yourself and it all falls into place, right? As I have gotten older, the self critic’s grip on my has gotten less but it’s voice is still a powerful motivator and antagonist in my personal battle to self acceptance. Any name that anyone could have possibly called me could have never been worse then the names and thoughts that I have harmed myself with through the years. So it should come as no surprise to me that I am about to undertake an exciting journey of self-discovery through Nia this next week that my critic emerges as furiously as it ever does. “I am not ready, I am not thin enough, good enough, fit enough. I will not look right, eat right, or move right. What if I fail?” And so on. It can quickly become quite tiresome and draining. Am I the only one with a critic this obnoxious? I mean really! The most amusing part of the critic’s tirade is that I would never have fallen in love with Nia and by extension my growing image of my self as beautiful if it was all of those things that my critic is trying to warn me against. I am ready now. So for the next month my critic gets to take a very long nap (April is scrip frenzy which I am also foolishly going to attempt.) and when I decide to take it out again, we are going to have a long series of renegotiations over its duties.
So what does this have to do with my first night of training? Well not much but it was amusing to me. I seem to be full of crazy ideas lately because I have taken it into my head to blog each night about the day, a sort of mental and emotional brain dump. I expect these posts to be come nonsensical pretty darn quick eventually becoming: Oooh pretty music, body tire, wooden floors and lots of people or even Huh, mmmmmph egag!
Or not.
We have a full class. 39 students. Holy Moly. Much of what was tonight was our agreement to the four principles or energy allies. They consist of speaking with impeccability, don’t assume anything, don’t take anything personally and always do your best. And be on time.
Bedtime is calling as we have an early start.
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