Well I look at how long ago my last post was and blush as the summer is almost over. Time flies when you are having fun and looking after two very bored children!
My latest Nia update is that I have slowly been working on my first routine, Sanjana and taught my first songs with Laurie and Fred's blessing. While marked for improvement, I was not expecting it to be so much fun! It continues to amaze me, just how much Nia gives me as a person, healing not only my body but my mind and my spirit. Each class is a promise and a challenge for me to grow stronger and more present in my life. Last two classes, Laurie asked us to come up with one word or short phrase for what Nia brings to us. My word on Sunday was self-love and on Wednesday, it was pretty.
So feeling a bit crazy but in that same spirit of growth and crazy fun, I signed up for Adult beginning Jazz classes at my daughter’s dance studio and it has been a blast. It is also fun to take the principles of Nia and adapt them in a new setting. Learning the steps and turns has been great at revealing and breaking some of my habits, encouraging me to find new adaptability and flexibility.
I have even managed to get some writing in on finishing an old short story I started years ago. My hope is to have it finished by end of summer.
Here is a brief excerpt for those willing to brave my prose!
The Crystalline Sea
By Christina Norman
She was five years old the first time the stranger came round the inn. It was a dark wet night as the rain was attacking the ground with a ferocity that drove travelers to seek shelter in every possible corner huddled miserably, trying to get dry. He wore the raindrops pouring about him as comfortably as he wore his blue travel worn cloak. The water on his handsome aquiline face and sandy blonde hair gleamed, giving him, it seemed to her, an otherworldly glow as she watched from her perch at the window. Just for a moment the glow seemed to intensify as he caught her watching him through the window and smiled almost knowingly. It faded so quickly that as he swept through the doors into the warmth of the inn, Katy immediately questioned if she even saw it in the first place.
Katy’s papa spied the newcomer and greeted him with his booming voice “Tis a cold, wet night you choose to visit the fine Amber Rose Inn. If you be seekin’ an evening stay, I’ve only the common room available, we booked up fast. However we have plenty of the finest stew in Merlin’s Bluff, all the credit goes to me Abbie. The bread is hot and the ale is cool. I brew me own ale, no watered down stuff steps foot on my watch ain’t that right Jonas?”
“Aye, Master Salte, youse speak nottin’ but the truth!” shouted Jonas sitting at a nearby table. The husky lad had obviously been enjoying several samples of Master Salte’s labor. He was sitting with his friends. The four young farmhands had gathered that evening out of the rain. Morning would come early and the calloused hands would once again, no matter the weather, plow and till, plant and fix, harness and tend. Tonight, those busy hands lay idle except to lift the mugs of ale to quench thirsty throats and spoons to feed hungry stomachs.
Betts, the pretty maid Katy’s papa had hired, twirled, flirted ans served with an deft touch as the weather had drawn more and more of the town folk and travelers to the inn for food and comfort. Master Salte knew from experience that foul as the weather may be, very fair would be his night’s earnings. Mistress Abbie, papa’s wife was busy in the kitchen, overseeing the roasts, pies, stews and breads that the inn’s patrons demanded and raved over. Too busy to keep an eye on a small wiry girl. She failed to notice Katy quietly observing the bustle and taking in the storm from her perch in a shadowy corner, instead of sleeping in her room.
Katy had bristled at Abbie’s commanding tone that she was to stay in her room and out of the way. At first it was simple defiance that drew Katy out to the common room unnoticed and that same bit of rebellion was why she stayed. Despite all of the activity, it was the same conversations, the same concerns that adults always seem to fret over, as it was every night. The men would talk about money – who had it, who did not and who needed it, weather and the effect on the current crops, farming, farming and more farming. The women would invariably turn the conversation to marriage, who should be, who wanted to be who wasn’t until finally the subject turned to babies. Yuck, bleh and double bleh! Katy did not understand grown-ups at all! And she certainly did not want to become one if it meant that one had to forget how to play jacks or if one was not allow to go running through the meadow at the back of the inn, chasing butterflies and counting bees.
It was the stranger in the storm, the stranger that walked through the doors of the Amber Rose that caught her interest. She felt a tingle of excitement. Something new, she thought. Katy was certain that something unusual, something amazing was going to happen. So instead of returning to her room, she stayed. Keeping very still, Katy kept an eye out for Abbie. She was determined she was not going to get caught and sent to bed.
The young man smiled at papa broadly and replied, “A place in the common room will suit me just fine. I fear the strength of your good ale would be wasted on a poor man like myself and will make do with water. I, however, must insist on a bowl of Mistress Abbie’s stew for I have been told for the last three town’s it is the finest in the district.” Words flowed like honey from his mouth, smooth and sweet to the ear, both in tone and flattery. Katy watched in fascination as he un-strapped from the pack he was carrying, a case and set it on the table lovingly.
“You be one of those traveling minstrels, aye?” Master Salte asked with a gleam of interest in his eyes not unlike his hidden daughter’s.
Mistaking the look, the young stranger started to pull out the bag which he carried his coins. “Indeed, I am. I assure you I have coin enough for the bed and meals. There will be no begging from me tonight.”
“Nay lad, I mean no harm. I trust well enough that you’d have asked for work up front if you needed it. We don’t often see your kind in these parts. Being a bit on the remote side and all with little to offer the fancy going city folk. Only during the spring and summer festivals do we get a chance to hear someone besides Ole Harry making a go at a tale or two.” Master Salte cleared his throat nervously. “It just seems a shame with the weather so awful and all, that perhaps you might help us pass the time by sharing one of your stories.” Katy’s ears perked up and she looked over with eager interest. A story! This was worth the risk of getting caught.
The handsome minstrel smiled a rueful smile, expressing both weariness and understanding. “I has been a long day of travel and I was looking forward to a quiet evening.” His brilliant blue eyes met Katy’s brown soulful ones for a moment. Katy stifled a gasp, certain she was going to be ratted out. Instead he flashed a warm smile at the child, and turned to her papa. “If you give me but a moment of time to savor my supper and to rest a while, I believe I have a tale for the telling.” Katy’s heart leapt with joy as her papa signaled to Betts to bring a bowl of stew.
“Of course, my friend. Of course.” Betts quickly served the young man supper with her brightest smile, sighing over his handsome face as she left for the kitchen. Katy waited and watched in sweet anticipation of the story that was to come.
That evening was the first time that Katy heard of the maiden trapped in a Crystal Cage lost in the Crystalline Sea. Little did she dream, how that story was about to take a hold of her life.
Thursday, August 6, 2009
Saturday, April 4, 2009
Riding the Waves - Days 5, 6, & 7 of Nia White Belt
Day Five:
On Day five, we worked with principle #9, Creative Arm and Hand Expression with Debbie. It turns out that this was going to be our last day with her as she was flying out the next day. The level of detail amazed me and how by, again, connecting the bone and muscle functionality really gave the movements a lot of power. It was interesting to really feel some of the hand movements differently and really feel the muscles engage. For example the hand flicks. Normally I just flick my hands out thinking okay this is how it is done but after the workshop and after really engaging and providing enough tension on the out to make the noise, I could really feel my lower arm muscles getting a workout they had not gotten before. Spear fingers was another hand technique that made a lot more sense for me as Debbie had us go back and forth between holding our arms out with open palm and then engaging the spear fingers to feel the difference in support and in ease.
Afterwards we returned to FreeDance (principle #4 for those keeping track!) and worked with switching between the six different types that we were taught. Freedance, being seduced by the music, feelings and emotions, creative source, authentic movement and witness. My moment of aha came with working with the witness. The witness is invited to come in and simply observe our tendencies without judgment or manipulation. For some odd reason my critic thought this meant it was his turn giving me such fine feedback like ‘You really suck at the feelings and emotions one.’ ‘Thank you very much for your input’ and moving on. The light bulb moment came as I invited the witness as I was in a freedance stage and immediately my mind (or critic still) responded with “you always start with your arms.” (true) but I just kind of let it go when out of the blue the real witnessing happened. It was this soft gentle voice that said, “Hey, I noticed that when you freedance, you tend to keep your eyes and your head down.” Oh. Oh! I had to stop myself from immediately changing it, instead I stayed with the dance as it was and really noticed how it felt. Now I can choose to go there or not. I found my witness!
The afternoon was spent on principle #10, X-ray anatomy that was pretty interesting. Our practice is to do quick stick like drawings of people’s bones that Carlos called Zorro. This is to train our eyes to see others and ourselves in terms of lines and structure with out judgment or manipulation. There was a lot of discussion on bone, ligaments, structure, muscles both intrinsic and extrinsic but the main things I walked away with was that the 200 bones and 700 muscles (rounded not exact numbers) give us endless possibilities of movement to avoid repetitive movements that decrease our nervous systems ability to respond.
We ended with a wild card Wednesday Nia routine with Carlos focusing on creative arm and hand expression. It was a blast. He had us move like penguins with our arms behind our backs and then later we were card-shuffling kangaroos that only come out at night. What was clear was Carlo’s sheer mastery and skills with the routine combined with a balancing of joy and looseness with out ever losing control was incredible and the energy that was created was exhilarating. As I mentioned before we ended with “The Heart is a Lonely Hunter” before cool down and it was just perfect.
Day Six:
Day six started with a review of as many of the 52 moves as we could get in before running out of time. Again Carlos was able to bring a level of attention and detail to each move that was very enlightening. The level and depth to the work and the awareness is endless. Afterward we went on to principle #12, continuing education as he went through the tools and processes that are available to get to the point of sharing a routine with real live students instead of bears. I did write down and really liked his comment of practice the routine in many different ways to create many different memory banks to call upon. It is important to first embody the routine and that the music it precise.
In the afternoon Liz talked to us about principle #11, business and marketing. She talked about the different ways to sharing the joy and talking about what you love. (Sort of like this blog!). We then moved on to the actually licensing part. What was interesting to me at the time was how the energy of the room changed. It felt to me as if an element of anxiety entered the room and I could see people start talking among themselves as Maria was explaining the licensing details, the same questions were being asked over and over and assumptions were being made. It is a pretty big decision. After the final person licensed, there were only a few of us around but those few of us were determined to clear the space even if there were only three of us. After a quick round up about half the class returned and we clear the space with Liz and Maria. I am really glad that we did.
Liz taught Nia class that night, giving us an opportunity to dance to Sanjana (for those that were new to the routine) with a focus on X-ray anatomy. It was a lovely, calm and almost restorative class for me. It was really great to dance Sanjana with a mindfulness that I had not given to it before and Liz was fantastic.
Day Seven:
Finally, the seventh and the last day of Nia White Belt came and it was just as full as the others. Carlos introduced the last principle, teaching what you sense and had us warm up our vocals in an active practice before taking us through a simple routine. He had us listening to the music, dancing the music, asking our bodies what we sense, waiting and then speaking “Everybody sense your …” several times in different way. All this to get practice at juggling just a fraction of what teachers will need to juggle while teaching a class. I discovered that I had to pull everything in small or I would loose my step or my ear for the music, usually the moment I tried to speak the line the second or third time (it never really felt natural to me) and this was with a song and a simple step that I know really really well. Even after pulling it in small, it took a ton of focus to say balanced even most of the time. I said it before but it bears repeating, the effort, ability and ease that Laurie and Fred bring to teaching us a song, a routine is very inspiring and appreciated. It is truly incredible what they do.
After a quick lunch we wrapped up with a discussion on taking nia home and giving thanks to everyone who held the space for us while we were gone. (Hi Chris, Hi mom,) and at the very end of the talk, the pressure got to us and we created our own little triad of Jump in the sack – write a letter – ask how the week went – which while not particularly original, amused us to no end. After another short break we were presented with our certificates and white belts, which we put on as a class in a graduation like ceremony and cleared the space one final time. Underneath my tiredness was a huge sense of accomplishment and excitement to take all of the tools, practice and knowledge from the week and go even deeper into my Nia practice. I opted to go home to my family instead of the celebration afterward and knew I made the right choice when my son came flying at me as I came through the door and my energy lifted.
Of all the pearls and insights that I got, the one that keeps coming back to me as the most important and humbling is the idea that I can get a move, and maybe even be good or excellent at it but never see it as good enough because there is always more details, more depth and more improvement to be found if you commit to the practice.
On Day five, we worked with principle #9, Creative Arm and Hand Expression with Debbie. It turns out that this was going to be our last day with her as she was flying out the next day. The level of detail amazed me and how by, again, connecting the bone and muscle functionality really gave the movements a lot of power. It was interesting to really feel some of the hand movements differently and really feel the muscles engage. For example the hand flicks. Normally I just flick my hands out thinking okay this is how it is done but after the workshop and after really engaging and providing enough tension on the out to make the noise, I could really feel my lower arm muscles getting a workout they had not gotten before. Spear fingers was another hand technique that made a lot more sense for me as Debbie had us go back and forth between holding our arms out with open palm and then engaging the spear fingers to feel the difference in support and in ease.
Afterwards we returned to FreeDance (principle #4 for those keeping track!) and worked with switching between the six different types that we were taught. Freedance, being seduced by the music, feelings and emotions, creative source, authentic movement and witness. My moment of aha came with working with the witness. The witness is invited to come in and simply observe our tendencies without judgment or manipulation. For some odd reason my critic thought this meant it was his turn giving me such fine feedback like ‘You really suck at the feelings and emotions one.’ ‘Thank you very much for your input’ and moving on. The light bulb moment came as I invited the witness as I was in a freedance stage and immediately my mind (or critic still) responded with “you always start with your arms.” (true) but I just kind of let it go when out of the blue the real witnessing happened. It was this soft gentle voice that said, “Hey, I noticed that when you freedance, you tend to keep your eyes and your head down.” Oh. Oh! I had to stop myself from immediately changing it, instead I stayed with the dance as it was and really noticed how it felt. Now I can choose to go there or not. I found my witness!
The afternoon was spent on principle #10, X-ray anatomy that was pretty interesting. Our practice is to do quick stick like drawings of people’s bones that Carlos called Zorro. This is to train our eyes to see others and ourselves in terms of lines and structure with out judgment or manipulation. There was a lot of discussion on bone, ligaments, structure, muscles both intrinsic and extrinsic but the main things I walked away with was that the 200 bones and 700 muscles (rounded not exact numbers) give us endless possibilities of movement to avoid repetitive movements that decrease our nervous systems ability to respond.
We ended with a wild card Wednesday Nia routine with Carlos focusing on creative arm and hand expression. It was a blast. He had us move like penguins with our arms behind our backs and then later we were card-shuffling kangaroos that only come out at night. What was clear was Carlo’s sheer mastery and skills with the routine combined with a balancing of joy and looseness with out ever losing control was incredible and the energy that was created was exhilarating. As I mentioned before we ended with “The Heart is a Lonely Hunter” before cool down and it was just perfect.
Day Six:
Day six started with a review of as many of the 52 moves as we could get in before running out of time. Again Carlos was able to bring a level of attention and detail to each move that was very enlightening. The level and depth to the work and the awareness is endless. Afterward we went on to principle #12, continuing education as he went through the tools and processes that are available to get to the point of sharing a routine with real live students instead of bears. I did write down and really liked his comment of practice the routine in many different ways to create many different memory banks to call upon. It is important to first embody the routine and that the music it precise.
In the afternoon Liz talked to us about principle #11, business and marketing. She talked about the different ways to sharing the joy and talking about what you love. (Sort of like this blog!). We then moved on to the actually licensing part. What was interesting to me at the time was how the energy of the room changed. It felt to me as if an element of anxiety entered the room and I could see people start talking among themselves as Maria was explaining the licensing details, the same questions were being asked over and over and assumptions were being made. It is a pretty big decision. After the final person licensed, there were only a few of us around but those few of us were determined to clear the space even if there were only three of us. After a quick round up about half the class returned and we clear the space with Liz and Maria. I am really glad that we did.
Liz taught Nia class that night, giving us an opportunity to dance to Sanjana (for those that were new to the routine) with a focus on X-ray anatomy. It was a lovely, calm and almost restorative class for me. It was really great to dance Sanjana with a mindfulness that I had not given to it before and Liz was fantastic.
Day Seven:
Finally, the seventh and the last day of Nia White Belt came and it was just as full as the others. Carlos introduced the last principle, teaching what you sense and had us warm up our vocals in an active practice before taking us through a simple routine. He had us listening to the music, dancing the music, asking our bodies what we sense, waiting and then speaking “Everybody sense your …” several times in different way. All this to get practice at juggling just a fraction of what teachers will need to juggle while teaching a class. I discovered that I had to pull everything in small or I would loose my step or my ear for the music, usually the moment I tried to speak the line the second or third time (it never really felt natural to me) and this was with a song and a simple step that I know really really well. Even after pulling it in small, it took a ton of focus to say balanced even most of the time. I said it before but it bears repeating, the effort, ability and ease that Laurie and Fred bring to teaching us a song, a routine is very inspiring and appreciated. It is truly incredible what they do.
After a quick lunch we wrapped up with a discussion on taking nia home and giving thanks to everyone who held the space for us while we were gone. (Hi Chris, Hi mom,) and at the very end of the talk, the pressure got to us and we created our own little triad of Jump in the sack – write a letter – ask how the week went – which while not particularly original, amused us to no end. After another short break we were presented with our certificates and white belts, which we put on as a class in a graduation like ceremony and cleared the space one final time. Underneath my tiredness was a huge sense of accomplishment and excitement to take all of the tools, practice and knowledge from the week and go even deeper into my Nia practice. I opted to go home to my family instead of the celebration afterward and knew I made the right choice when my son came flying at me as I came through the door and my energy lifted.
Of all the pearls and insights that I got, the one that keeps coming back to me as the most important and humbling is the idea that I can get a move, and maybe even be good or excellent at it but never see it as good enough because there is always more details, more depth and more improvement to be found if you commit to the practice.
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Underneath the ocean - Nia Day Four
Day four was rather interesting on a lot of levels and in many ways it was not the easiest day for me and on another it was probably the most powerful in hindsight. There was further exploration of the 8BC system and being able to flower and dress the bars to give us information to help teach. Then there was some more work with FreeDance including more work with feelings and emotions, then we were introduced to creative source and authentic movement. I was back to struggling a bit as I tried my hand at the new levels and trying to find my way and being able find the one without counting. The feelings and emotions part still felt a little foolish while the creative source less so. Definetly room for me to grow!
In the afternoon we worked the core with Debbie and we stirred up a ton of energy as I will get to in a bit. Catherine from Wednesday night classes joined us along with her Salem Nia instructor Regina. She is doing great and says hello to everyone. Debbie taught the Nia class and we got the work the core some more with Ameythist. Overall, for me today was more cerebral and less physical exhaustion so I found I had more energy for the class.
As I was driving home, I could feel this heaviness in my chest and I managed to make it until I was just across my house when I started to cry. I pulled in and sat in the garage just crying. (I just have to point out the irony that as I could feel this coming on, the song Point of No Return was playing) I didn’t really try and figure out the why at that point, I just accepted it as old junk that need to be released. When I finally got inside, my husband took one look and me and held me as I sobbed to him and apologized for not be the same size as when he married me. His response was perfect and he just let me cry and babble for a bit. After I calmed down, he asked if there was anything he could do for me. My response. “Wanna have sex?” He lights up. “Okay!” Without entering into the too much information space (which it may be too late already!) I’ll just say that it was really good.
So I am now a day late but tomorrow is an early morning so day five to be here soon. I will say that today was incredible and the Nia class was absolutely wild. Carlos ended with "The Hearts is a Lonely Hunter" and the energy was dialed up to eleven in the room. Pure heaven!
In the afternoon we worked the core with Debbie and we stirred up a ton of energy as I will get to in a bit. Catherine from Wednesday night classes joined us along with her Salem Nia instructor Regina. She is doing great and says hello to everyone. Debbie taught the Nia class and we got the work the core some more with Ameythist. Overall, for me today was more cerebral and less physical exhaustion so I found I had more energy for the class.
As I was driving home, I could feel this heaviness in my chest and I managed to make it until I was just across my house when I started to cry. I pulled in and sat in the garage just crying. (I just have to point out the irony that as I could feel this coming on, the song Point of No Return was playing) I didn’t really try and figure out the why at that point, I just accepted it as old junk that need to be released. When I finally got inside, my husband took one look and me and held me as I sobbed to him and apologized for not be the same size as when he married me. His response was perfect and he just let me cry and babble for a bit. After I calmed down, he asked if there was anything he could do for me. My response. “Wanna have sex?” He lights up. “Okay!” Without entering into the too much information space (which it may be too late already!) I’ll just say that it was really good.
So I am now a day late but tomorrow is an early morning so day five to be here soon. I will say that today was incredible and the Nia class was absolutely wild. Carlos ended with "The Hearts is a Lonely Hunter" and the energy was dialed up to eleven in the room. Pure heaven!
Monday, March 30, 2009
Today. Was a good day. Day Three
Wow, today was amazing. There is just so much and so many butterflies of ideas, stories of insight that it is all just rolling around in my head like a bunch of gibberish. That said, is seems a shame not to provide some kind of post so here I am in rambling incoherent glory.
This morning started with the drive in and I started to play with St. Etienne’s Alpha Fox Beta album with the 8BC system and see if I could find the beat, find the one count and recognize the different elements of the song. I then played with listening to the different instruments coming in and out of silence. Kindergarten stuff as Carlos would say but it really opened up for me, a whole new element to music and it was enjoyable on a whole new level.
Then as I parked my car and walked down to the street, I decided to become more aware of how I walk, choosing to play with the Alexander Technique a bit more. Yesterday I have discovered that I have a tendency to look down a bit instead of out, though I have to also acknowledge that I do not do this near as much as I used to after discovering Nia. So I discovered what would happen if I trust my feet to go down the stairs without looking down, (a little unnerving, I have to confess) and then walked out across the street to the Nia Studio. Energetically I felt strong and confident and it was very interesting to notice how many people on the street walk with their heads down and the energy that brings.
On the drive home, having tried the stairs going down again without looking at my feet, it was still a little unnerving and at time I felt unsure as I had to trust that my feet know what they were doing and I had just been working with them all day so we are the best of friends now and everything, right. I mean, I even rubbed and thanked them for all the hard work today and everything. On the drive home, I think about the stairs at home and I take them all the time with out thinking, with out looking. Is this because I am familiar with them, going up and down many times a day? And then it hits me what the main difference was. Outside, I have shoes on; at home I am barefoot most of the time. Bingo! You mean there really is something to all of this feet sending the rest of the body information through its thousand of nerves? I love it!
Speaking of feet, I spent the afternoon learning how to walk. Wow, that was incredible just how far removed I was from using my feet the body’s way. I thought I was closer then I was with all the practice of the steps and stances that we did but Debbie really had us exploring how to walk, how the different bones in our feet and legs are designed to work, I discovered where was weak and then boom! Ah that is the weak muscle on the inside of my left foot that is leading to my knee to complain. Now I know where to direct some self-healing.
Which leads me back to the beginning of the day where Carlos shared with us the fifth principle, Awareness. There was just so much that was shared about self-healing, pleasure and pain as sensations, it was just incredible and I couldn’t even begin to recapture it. I will share the thought that occurred to me. I have heard the phrase, ‘I need to be in my body more’, quite a bit or ‘I thought I was in my body more then I thought I was’. My take away thought after this morning that it was not so much that I need to be in my body more because, hey, you know, my body has pretty much been here all along, it has just been waiting for me to notice, to pay attention. So I would say that I have discovered that there is a near overwhelming amount of information and sensation that my body gives me that I need to open up the neural pathways (or reprogram if you will) through the practice of awareness before I can even begin to access a fraction of that without short circuiting. Luckily the universe and my body will take care to go slowly so that does not happen. Still it is yet another avenue introduced in the principles to explore.
One final thought is that for some reason the energy of the day and the class felt really good, really focused and much lighter then the previous days. There was a lot of laughing, especially in the morning as we explored emotions. I though of you male Fred with great affection and sympathy!
Okay, I lied to you, one more thing that I just need to share. When we moved with FreeDance today, Carlos had us work more with moving with the creative energy through the body and the art of choosing to move to the music or not but still listening to the music. Yesterday when I tried to feel that creative energy he had described I did my best but can you say “Epic Fail!” Okay it wasn’t that bad and I certainly learned what it was not even if I was moving creatively and there was definite growth as I discovered that I could hear the music, be detached on a certain level to be able to choose to move the way I created. I didn’t have to get lost in the music. As we explored this further today, I got it. I felt that energy that he was talking about but could not describe and I knew it. It was incredible! It only lasted a few bars but now I know exactly how it feels and I was not lost in anything. I could still hear the music, I could choose to follow it or not but it was just so full and amazing. I know this does not even come close to describing the feelings or if it even makes sense but yeah. That is kind of all there is to say. YES!
Debbie taught the Nia class this evening (Opal for those wondering) and I highly recommend that if you ever get the chance to take a class from Carlos or Debbie or preferably both. Do it. Very different and wonderful and a lot noisier then our classes are. There was a lot more growling and cheering and having a class of 50 plus people yelling yes and no at the same time almost makes up for the lack of space in its power. Almost. It was also interesting that as exhausted as I was, and I could not move out of level one for most of the class, how much energy was given back. It was also interesting to note the different energies in the different parts of the room. For me, the space near the window felt more open and as a result I felt more open. Near the middle and towards the front was some crazy powerful energy and it was near impossible to stay level one, and it felt really good. By the door, I felt more constrained and my energy dropped as my attention seemed to focus on how tired I was instead of the pleasure. Needless to say, as soon as I could, I made my way back to the windows and I felt recharged enough to enjoy the rest of the class. I do have to point out that the last song, my movements were pretty darn pathetic!
Well this turned out longer then I had anticipated and hopefully it makes some strange kind of sense, or at least bit of amusement at my thoughts. This is all pretty incredible and I am off to ground and get some rest for the core of the body tomorrow.
This morning started with the drive in and I started to play with St. Etienne’s Alpha Fox Beta album with the 8BC system and see if I could find the beat, find the one count and recognize the different elements of the song. I then played with listening to the different instruments coming in and out of silence. Kindergarten stuff as Carlos would say but it really opened up for me, a whole new element to music and it was enjoyable on a whole new level.
Then as I parked my car and walked down to the street, I decided to become more aware of how I walk, choosing to play with the Alexander Technique a bit more. Yesterday I have discovered that I have a tendency to look down a bit instead of out, though I have to also acknowledge that I do not do this near as much as I used to after discovering Nia. So I discovered what would happen if I trust my feet to go down the stairs without looking down, (a little unnerving, I have to confess) and then walked out across the street to the Nia Studio. Energetically I felt strong and confident and it was very interesting to notice how many people on the street walk with their heads down and the energy that brings.
On the drive home, having tried the stairs going down again without looking at my feet, it was still a little unnerving and at time I felt unsure as I had to trust that my feet know what they were doing and I had just been working with them all day so we are the best of friends now and everything, right. I mean, I even rubbed and thanked them for all the hard work today and everything. On the drive home, I think about the stairs at home and I take them all the time with out thinking, with out looking. Is this because I am familiar with them, going up and down many times a day? And then it hits me what the main difference was. Outside, I have shoes on; at home I am barefoot most of the time. Bingo! You mean there really is something to all of this feet sending the rest of the body information through its thousand of nerves? I love it!
Speaking of feet, I spent the afternoon learning how to walk. Wow, that was incredible just how far removed I was from using my feet the body’s way. I thought I was closer then I was with all the practice of the steps and stances that we did but Debbie really had us exploring how to walk, how the different bones in our feet and legs are designed to work, I discovered where was weak and then boom! Ah that is the weak muscle on the inside of my left foot that is leading to my knee to complain. Now I know where to direct some self-healing.
Which leads me back to the beginning of the day where Carlos shared with us the fifth principle, Awareness. There was just so much that was shared about self-healing, pleasure and pain as sensations, it was just incredible and I couldn’t even begin to recapture it. I will share the thought that occurred to me. I have heard the phrase, ‘I need to be in my body more’, quite a bit or ‘I thought I was in my body more then I thought I was’. My take away thought after this morning that it was not so much that I need to be in my body more because, hey, you know, my body has pretty much been here all along, it has just been waiting for me to notice, to pay attention. So I would say that I have discovered that there is a near overwhelming amount of information and sensation that my body gives me that I need to open up the neural pathways (or reprogram if you will) through the practice of awareness before I can even begin to access a fraction of that without short circuiting. Luckily the universe and my body will take care to go slowly so that does not happen. Still it is yet another avenue introduced in the principles to explore.
One final thought is that for some reason the energy of the day and the class felt really good, really focused and much lighter then the previous days. There was a lot of laughing, especially in the morning as we explored emotions. I though of you male Fred with great affection and sympathy!
Okay, I lied to you, one more thing that I just need to share. When we moved with FreeDance today, Carlos had us work more with moving with the creative energy through the body and the art of choosing to move to the music or not but still listening to the music. Yesterday when I tried to feel that creative energy he had described I did my best but can you say “Epic Fail!” Okay it wasn’t that bad and I certainly learned what it was not even if I was moving creatively and there was definite growth as I discovered that I could hear the music, be detached on a certain level to be able to choose to move the way I created. I didn’t have to get lost in the music. As we explored this further today, I got it. I felt that energy that he was talking about but could not describe and I knew it. It was incredible! It only lasted a few bars but now I know exactly how it feels and I was not lost in anything. I could still hear the music, I could choose to follow it or not but it was just so full and amazing. I know this does not even come close to describing the feelings or if it even makes sense but yeah. That is kind of all there is to say. YES!
Debbie taught the Nia class this evening (Opal for those wondering) and I highly recommend that if you ever get the chance to take a class from Carlos or Debbie or preferably both. Do it. Very different and wonderful and a lot noisier then our classes are. There was a lot more growling and cheering and having a class of 50 plus people yelling yes and no at the same time almost makes up for the lack of space in its power. Almost. It was also interesting that as exhausted as I was, and I could not move out of level one for most of the class, how much energy was given back. It was also interesting to note the different energies in the different parts of the room. For me, the space near the window felt more open and as a result I felt more open. Near the middle and towards the front was some crazy powerful energy and it was near impossible to stay level one, and it felt really good. By the door, I felt more constrained and my energy dropped as my attention seemed to focus on how tired I was instead of the pleasure. Needless to say, as soon as I could, I made my way back to the windows and I felt recharged enough to enjoy the rest of the class. I do have to point out that the last song, my movements were pretty darn pathetic!
Well this turned out longer then I had anticipated and hopefully it makes some strange kind of sense, or at least bit of amusement at my thoughts. This is all pretty incredible and I am off to ground and get some rest for the core of the body tomorrow.
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Nia Day Two
Okay, feel free to laugh at me but this morning as I was driving into Portland and then rolling around on the floor to warm up, I was really feeling homesick for my Sunday Nia community. “Man,” I thought to myself, “I bet Laurie is teaching them ‘Passion’ right now without me while I am stuck here in Portland about to learn the Joy of Movement from Carlos. Hey wait a minute!” Yeah, that statement pretty much takes away the pity party right there doesn’t it. Still, it really is telling to me just how much each of us brings to the class and how much of my journey has been filled with this wonderful committed energy. Includeing energy that the forty plus of us created the space this morning as Carlos guided us to remove distractions through stillness.
I have to confess that I did not realize when Laurie was talking about the joy of movement, how much I was intertwining the emotion of joy instead of the sensation of joy from with in the body. This was my little ‘A-ha!’ moment if you will. Now I feel better armed to recognize when it happens and when I lose it. When I was sick two weeks ago and pulled it back to level one, I had found the joy of movement in my body more so then classes when I was well because I was forced to listen and be present in my body but it makes sense now. It really came home when he had us move with the sensation of joy and then had us invite emotion to visit our movements. The difference in the quality was amazing to sense and pretty incredible. Fun too.
Speaking of checking in with my body and energy levels, it has been interesting to assess where I am at during breaks and during lunch. First break I had been monitoring my energy levels pretty well, at least up until we had the Nia class before lunch. It was a blast but darn irresistible to throw yourself into the music and movement with abandon. I must confess to squeeing on the inside when the song ‘Kissing’ came on. Fred that one was for you! Yet we still have seven to go. Yikes. Next up is natural time and the movement forms, Music and the 8bc system. Thank you so much to Laurie for teaching us RAW. I cannot tell you how many times I have used that today!
Before lunch break ends I just want to share what was an incredible sense of community. Carlos had the class experience the joy of movement while doing a Nia move to one of the Sanjana songs (The ‘oh I’m in heaven baby, whoa whoa whoah!). As we did the move through the song with an 8 count there was a moment when the music was about to change and the entire group waited just a single count longer to hit the count on the emphasis beat all by instinct. It felt amazing.
So now I am finally home, with out losing my way this time but there is just so much information. Debbie spoke to us about natural time and the movement forms the Carlos followed up with the music and the 8bc system and we ended with the first two elements of FreeDance. Of course I had a ton of oh that is what is going on moments from shifting from one movement form to the other, to the healing forms actually restoring my energy levels when I was absolutely depleted by that point to exploring the idea of moving creatively in a freedance while listening to the music in why that maintains the focus of both without conflict. I am not sure I am making sense right now and perhaps it would be better to sleep on it and explore it more tomorrow. I do want to point out that while I always knew Laurie and Fred were amazing teachers, my respect for what they do and what they put into their practice to create a Nia class for us has gone up 1000 fold. Wow. Thank you guys. Off to get some sleep as we are scheduled to do the base, more music stuff and I believe the levels of intensity.
I have to confess that I did not realize when Laurie was talking about the joy of movement, how much I was intertwining the emotion of joy instead of the sensation of joy from with in the body. This was my little ‘A-ha!’ moment if you will. Now I feel better armed to recognize when it happens and when I lose it. When I was sick two weeks ago and pulled it back to level one, I had found the joy of movement in my body more so then classes when I was well because I was forced to listen and be present in my body but it makes sense now. It really came home when he had us move with the sensation of joy and then had us invite emotion to visit our movements. The difference in the quality was amazing to sense and pretty incredible. Fun too.
Speaking of checking in with my body and energy levels, it has been interesting to assess where I am at during breaks and during lunch. First break I had been monitoring my energy levels pretty well, at least up until we had the Nia class before lunch. It was a blast but darn irresistible to throw yourself into the music and movement with abandon. I must confess to squeeing on the inside when the song ‘Kissing’ came on. Fred that one was for you! Yet we still have seven to go. Yikes. Next up is natural time and the movement forms, Music and the 8bc system. Thank you so much to Laurie for teaching us RAW. I cannot tell you how many times I have used that today!
Before lunch break ends I just want to share what was an incredible sense of community. Carlos had the class experience the joy of movement while doing a Nia move to one of the Sanjana songs (The ‘oh I’m in heaven baby, whoa whoa whoah!). As we did the move through the song with an 8 count there was a moment when the music was about to change and the entire group waited just a single count longer to hit the count on the emphasis beat all by instinct. It felt amazing.
So now I am finally home, with out losing my way this time but there is just so much information. Debbie spoke to us about natural time and the movement forms the Carlos followed up with the music and the 8bc system and we ended with the first two elements of FreeDance. Of course I had a ton of oh that is what is going on moments from shifting from one movement form to the other, to the healing forms actually restoring my energy levels when I was absolutely depleted by that point to exploring the idea of moving creatively in a freedance while listening to the music in why that maintains the focus of both without conflict. I am not sure I am making sense right now and perhaps it would be better to sleep on it and explore it more tomorrow. I do want to point out that while I always knew Laurie and Fred were amazing teachers, my respect for what they do and what they put into their practice to create a Nia class for us has gone up 1000 fold. Wow. Thank you guys. Off to get some sleep as we are scheduled to do the base, more music stuff and I believe the levels of intensity.
Saturday, March 28, 2009
It has begun!
Tonight was the start of Nia White Belt intensive training and even at four hours my brain is full, my inner imp is excited and a small part of me is wondering what it is I have gotten myself into!
I have always struggled with my self-image. Confidence. It seems like such a simple thing, just believe in yourself and it all falls into place, right? As I have gotten older, the self critic’s grip on my has gotten less but it’s voice is still a powerful motivator and antagonist in my personal battle to self acceptance. Any name that anyone could have possibly called me could have never been worse then the names and thoughts that I have harmed myself with through the years. So it should come as no surprise to me that I am about to undertake an exciting journey of self-discovery through Nia this next week that my critic emerges as furiously as it ever does. “I am not ready, I am not thin enough, good enough, fit enough. I will not look right, eat right, or move right. What if I fail?” And so on. It can quickly become quite tiresome and draining. Am I the only one with a critic this obnoxious? I mean really! The most amusing part of the critic’s tirade is that I would never have fallen in love with Nia and by extension my growing image of my self as beautiful if it was all of those things that my critic is trying to warn me against. I am ready now. So for the next month my critic gets to take a very long nap (April is scrip frenzy which I am also foolishly going to attempt.) and when I decide to take it out again, we are going to have a long series of renegotiations over its duties.
So what does this have to do with my first night of training? Well not much but it was amusing to me. I seem to be full of crazy ideas lately because I have taken it into my head to blog each night about the day, a sort of mental and emotional brain dump. I expect these posts to be come nonsensical pretty darn quick eventually becoming: Oooh pretty music, body tire, wooden floors and lots of people or even Huh, mmmmmph egag!
Or not.
We have a full class. 39 students. Holy Moly. Much of what was tonight was our agreement to the four principles or energy allies. They consist of speaking with impeccability, don’t assume anything, don’t take anything personally and always do your best. And be on time.
Bedtime is calling as we have an early start.
I have always struggled with my self-image. Confidence. It seems like such a simple thing, just believe in yourself and it all falls into place, right? As I have gotten older, the self critic’s grip on my has gotten less but it’s voice is still a powerful motivator and antagonist in my personal battle to self acceptance. Any name that anyone could have possibly called me could have never been worse then the names and thoughts that I have harmed myself with through the years. So it should come as no surprise to me that I am about to undertake an exciting journey of self-discovery through Nia this next week that my critic emerges as furiously as it ever does. “I am not ready, I am not thin enough, good enough, fit enough. I will not look right, eat right, or move right. What if I fail?” And so on. It can quickly become quite tiresome and draining. Am I the only one with a critic this obnoxious? I mean really! The most amusing part of the critic’s tirade is that I would never have fallen in love with Nia and by extension my growing image of my self as beautiful if it was all of those things that my critic is trying to warn me against. I am ready now. So for the next month my critic gets to take a very long nap (April is scrip frenzy which I am also foolishly going to attempt.) and when I decide to take it out again, we are going to have a long series of renegotiations over its duties.
So what does this have to do with my first night of training? Well not much but it was amusing to me. I seem to be full of crazy ideas lately because I have taken it into my head to blog each night about the day, a sort of mental and emotional brain dump. I expect these posts to be come nonsensical pretty darn quick eventually becoming: Oooh pretty music, body tire, wooden floors and lots of people or even Huh, mmmmmph egag!
Or not.
We have a full class. 39 students. Holy Moly. Much of what was tonight was our agreement to the four principles or energy allies. They consist of speaking with impeccability, don’t assume anything, don’t take anything personally and always do your best. And be on time.
Bedtime is calling as we have an early start.
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
A New Year, a New Promise.
Ah, another holiday season has come and gone and a New Year with the chance to bring in exciting new changes and let go of what no longer serves me in my life. It is a time to set intentions and goals. I wrote out three but realize now that I have them in the wrong order of priority. One of the most amazing things I have discovered this year was (and continues to be) Nia. Yes it is exercise but it has quickly become more then that. It has become something that I look forward to with much joy and I know no matter how I feel, the community and the practice will always leave me is a better space. The very first principle in Nia is to find the joy of movement, or the pleasure principle.
This last year was often overwhelming for me on a lot of levels as I committed to the work of being myself, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. So my first intention this year is to grow the joy that comes from my Nia dance into every aspect and every day of my life. I want to find the pleasure and joy in the day to day with a sense of gratitude especially when I find the list of things to get done is longer then I have time for!
My second intention is a bit more specific as I set goals for my creativity and commit to writing, editing and yes I am going to go here, publishing. There. I said the very scary “P” word. I want to hold a copy of my very own book that I have written. This will mean taking some personal risks and being in a space that is prepared for success.
My last, (which ironically was written first!), intention is all about losing weight as clichéd as that may sound as a goal. At first I felt a sense of disappointment that despite exercise and trying to eat healthier, I never seemed to permanently lose weight this year. It was then that I realized that I was focusing on the wrong kind of weight and that the baggage I was in the process of getting rid of was far more important then any number of pounds. So I state the intention to continue to lose, that which no longer serves my family or me in my life. (And if physical weight gets lost in the process, I am certainly not going to complain!) Self doubt, irrational fears, I am looking at you. Oh, and inner critic, you are officially on notice!
Peace and Love this year!Happy 2009 Everyone!
This last year was often overwhelming for me on a lot of levels as I committed to the work of being myself, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. So my first intention this year is to grow the joy that comes from my Nia dance into every aspect and every day of my life. I want to find the pleasure and joy in the day to day with a sense of gratitude especially when I find the list of things to get done is longer then I have time for!
My second intention is a bit more specific as I set goals for my creativity and commit to writing, editing and yes I am going to go here, publishing. There. I said the very scary “P” word. I want to hold a copy of my very own book that I have written. This will mean taking some personal risks and being in a space that is prepared for success.
My last, (which ironically was written first!), intention is all about losing weight as clichéd as that may sound as a goal. At first I felt a sense of disappointment that despite exercise and trying to eat healthier, I never seemed to permanently lose weight this year. It was then that I realized that I was focusing on the wrong kind of weight and that the baggage I was in the process of getting rid of was far more important then any number of pounds. So I state the intention to continue to lose, that which no longer serves my family or me in my life. (And if physical weight gets lost in the process, I am certainly not going to complain!) Self doubt, irrational fears, I am looking at you. Oh, and inner critic, you are officially on notice!
Peace and Love this year!Happy 2009 Everyone!
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